"This
is Africa.  Some people are honest and
some are not."  Genuine concern was
written across Lucky's (a.k.a. Bekhumusa's) face as he spoke to me.  "People talk. 
They know that they can come to you for help because you are so
nice.  But people take advantage of your
kindness.  You have to beware of
tricksters and carefully evaluate each decision you make before choosing to
help a person.  You need to consult
someone you trust every time before you help someone.  Then, if that person really is in need, you
can help him or her together with that person you trust.  You have both strength and weakness, and
people here know your weakness, but you need to show them your strength.  You need to have backbone and say ‘no' more
often.  Show them you have a backbone so
that they have to respect you.  Some
people don't even respect you, but they are nice to you just because they need
something.  I would say that about half
of the people here don't even respect you. 
And though most people actually like you, some just pretend to like you
because they're jealous of those you're helping and want to prove that they can
get help from you, too, even if they don't really need it."

                Angry
tears burned my eyes but I refused to let them come out.  I want to help people here so much, but now I
find out that the very ones I've been trying to help are against me?  Who are my true friends?  Do they even respect me?  Can I really trust anyone here after so many
have tried to dupe me?

                I had
dealt with none to few con artists, but I had hoped that those swindlers I exposed
were the minority.  But having disclosed
some of those tricksters, I should've been much more wary of others' integrity,
also.  I'd considered that people might
pass my name around as a source of help, but I never really thought it a
possibility that they actually collaborated with each other on how to take
advantage of me.  And I definitely never
had suspected that half of those who wanted help were false friends and charlatans
who didn't even respect me.  I'd been
altogether too trusting.  I felt so
manipulated realizing that my compassion and generosity really had been
abused.  I'd been bamboozled (you won't
find that synonym on Microsoft) and I felt the deep pain of betrayed trust.  In the weakness of my compassion I had
sacrificed my respectability.

                My
friend Majabane spoke next.  "Do what God
tells you to do, but beware, because people will try to leave you naked.  It's good to help people; don't stop.  But don't give so much that you starve
yourself."  His words were true more
literally than I'd like to admit.  I had
already given away all but one of my skirts and had even been skipping lunch so
I could feed more people.

                Majabane
went on to tell me that most people in the community like me, even love me, and
that they thought I was so kind and friendly, but it was a bit too late for his
words of comfort.  My trust in my
so-thought "friends" had been thoroughly demolished.  All I'd ever wanted to do was help.  Apparently genuine need was rarer than I'd
realized.  And yet I can't change the
fact that I do deeply care about these people whether they actually care about
me or not, and I would really do anything in my power to help them.  But the truth is, in many cases I have done
people more harm than good by "helping" them get away with their ruses, rather
than actually helping them.  I had
perpetuated their mentality that they could scam white people because I had
made myself a victim of their subterfuge.

Daddy,
I know all too well that I can't rely on my own discernment, so I'm asking You
to direct me.  I am too trusting of
people, and even though I don't know who I can trust now, I know that I can always
trust You fully.  You say that what I do
to the least of these I do to You, but what I'm doing for some of these people
is simply letting them get away with their conniving schemes.  Show me how to actually help people here by giving
only to those genuinely in need and refusing to allow the pretenders get away
with their ploys.