“This
is Africa. Some people are honest and
some are not.” Genuine concern was
written across Lucky’s (a.k.a. Bekhumusa’s) face as he spoke to me. “People talk.
They know that they can come to you for help because you are so
nice. But people take advantage of your
kindness. You have to beware of
tricksters and carefully evaluate each decision you make before choosing to
help a person. You need to consult
someone you trust every time before you help someone. Then, if that person really is in need, you
can help him or her together with that person you trust. You have both strength and weakness, and
people here know your weakness, but you need to show them your strength. You need to have backbone and say ‘no’ more
often. Show them you have a backbone so
that they have to respect you. Some
people don’t even respect you, but they are nice to you just because they need
something. I would say that about half
of the people here don’t even respect you.
And though most people actually like you, some just pretend to like you
because they’re jealous of those you’re helping and want to prove that they can
get help from you, too, even if they don’t really need it.”
Angry
tears burned my eyes but I refused to let them come out. I want to help people here so much, but now I
find out that the very ones I’ve been trying to help are against me? Who are my true friends? Do they even respect me? Can I really trust anyone here after so many
have tried to dupe me?
I had
dealt with none to few con artists, but I had hoped that those swindlers I exposed
were the minority. But having disclosed
some of those tricksters, I should’ve been much more wary of others’ integrity,
also. I’d considered that people might
pass my name around as a source of help, but I never really thought it a
possibility that they actually collaborated with each other on how to take
advantage of me. And I definitely never
had suspected that half of those who wanted help were false friends and charlatans
who didn’t even respect me. I’d been
altogether too trusting. I felt so
manipulated realizing that my compassion and generosity really had been
abused. I’d been bamboozled (you won’t
find that synonym on Microsoft) and I felt the deep pain of betrayed trust. In the weakness of my compassion I had
sacrificed my respectability.
My
friend Majabane spoke next. “Do what God
tells you to do, but beware, because people will try to leave you naked. It’s good to help people; don’t stop. But don’t give so much that you starve
yourself.” His words were true more
literally than I’d like to admit. I had
already given away all but one of my skirts and had even been skipping lunch so
I could feed more people.
Majabane
went on to tell me that most people in the community like me, even love me, and
that they thought I was so kind and friendly, but it was a bit too late for his
words of comfort. My trust in my
so-thought “friends” had been thoroughly demolished. All I’d ever wanted to do was help. Apparently genuine need was rarer than I’d
realized. And yet I can’t change the
fact that I do deeply care about these people whether they actually care about
me or not, and I would really do anything in my power to help them. But the truth is, in many cases I have done
people more harm than good by “helping” them get away with their ruses, rather
than actually helping them. I had
perpetuated their mentality that they could scam white people because I had
made myself a victim of their subterfuge.
Daddy,
I know all too well that I can’t rely on my own discernment, so I’m asking You
to direct me. I am too trusting of
people, and even though I don’t know who I can trust now, I know that I can always
trust You fully. You say that what I do
to the least of these I do to You, but what I’m doing for some of these people
is simply letting them get away with their conniving schemes. Show me how to actually help people here by giving
only to those genuinely in need and refusing to allow the pretenders get away
with their ploys.
Thank you Jess. I’ve worn those shoes with Daves’ employees, and in Mexico, where the same desires to help, the situations you describe happen.
God is with you.He loves your generous heart and is training and showing you so much. I ask Him to help you guard your heart against withdrawal or bitterness.
I pray He will speak and you’ll hear, and also that the blood of Jesus keep you covered. Our weapons are spiritual, our enemy is not the tricky people, but evil that wants you to be discouraged.
Praying for you, I love you, Mikki
ps. even tho you feel bamboozled, You win. You were walking in love.
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your heart and establish you in every good work 2Thessalonians 2:16-17
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me 2Corinthians 12:9
Oh come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms For the Lord is the great God And the great King above all gods Psalms 95: 1-3
Many things about God are difficult to understand. But there is one thing about God which is easy to understand. He earnestly longs for the lost to be saved.In the parable of the lost sheep, we see a God who is willing to leave the multitudes to seek just one which is lost. In the parable of the lost coin, we see a God who will move heaven and earth to find a prized possession. In the parable of the prodigal son, we see a God who rejoices with great joy when a lost one comes home.
As Christians, we should not let that which we don’t know cloud that which we do know. We must focus on the roses rather than the thorns. God loves the sinner, and on that, we can rest.
But let all who take refuge in You be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in You Psalms 5:11
Jess, do not let hurt turn to bitterness over these words spoken to you which may have some truth in them but may not be completely true. You are responsible for love and obedience to God’s Word—when I was hungry you fed me and naked you clothed me and take the gospel to the utter most ends of the earth–this you are doing with a pure heart. Satan will try to discourage your focus and deject your spirit but Jesus asked you to go and he wanted you with your soft heart and smile to be the one to show them His gift of salvation. Yes, you must pray for discernment and He will grant that and yet if you get caught up in who is truly needy—they are needy spiritually and hate to pass up the one that needed your words from God as you gave them food that they may or may not have needed–it is good to error on the side of love and be respected by your savior.
May Jesus protect your heart and mind as you do His service and know I am praying for healing and peace and that your eyes would remain glued on Him. Love You!
This is really deep Jess… and really hard… I’m sorry you have a reason to distrust people, and even more sorry that you wonder if they even trust you. Despite all of this: know that you ARE trusted and respected and you don’t need people to validate that for it to be true. Keep your chin up. You are STILL making a difference!
My precious Jess,
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Matt 10:27
You have been loving people in the name of Jesus Christ. You have loved those who might be like an enemy, you have done good to those who may not respect you and you have blessed those who might have cursed you and you have prayed for those who might mistreat you. Do not be discouraged dear one! In the world’s eye, yes you may have been taken advantage of. BUT in Heaven’s eye you have been the hands and feet of Jesus.
Sweet one, do not be ashamed or embarrassed by this. Do not let the world dictate how you will love. Now that you have been given the “world” view, take it before the throne and ask Jesus how HE sees it.
I wish I had given more when I was in China. I will never make that same mistake again. Don’t you think Jesus fed many a person who just wanted the food and not the real bread of life. Don’t you think Jesus healed people who just wanted physical healing and not spiritual healing. Don’t you think Jesus was unrespected and called foolish…You are in good company!!
I love you and I am incredibly proud of you!!!
Jess, I’m so glad the Lord sees our hearts and honors our intentions no matter what!
You are amazing!
My dearest Jessica, Robby and I ran into each other and he gave me this blog site that you have. God is good, my dear friend, and no matter what happens, always remember, He will never leave you or forsake you. He holds you in the palm of His hand, like a potter who holds a lump of clay, and He is molding you and re-shaping you everyday into the woman that He wants you to become. You have already accomplished so much and He is using you now in Africa, and all for His everlasting glory. I love you my dear friend and I will continue to pray for you and for the people of Africa. Love from Idaho! Brynn