Kit-kat generosity

Some of my Swazi friends here have the most generous hearts I have ever encountered.  Witnessing their broken lives and the way they still live on, loving and giving, wrecks me.  They give to others even when they have absolutely nothing even for themselves.  What really breaks me is when they give to me, when I comparatively need absolutely nothing.  In doing this they have both won and broken my heart.  They have taught me the lesson of generosity so profoundly that I will never be able to forget it.

Bacca is a free-spirited, fourteen-year-old Swazi friend of mine.  Bacca’s family of five is incredibly poor, even for this community that’s impoverished in the first place.  Bacca’s
mom has approached Pastor Gift in tears before begging for money to buy
food for even one meal a day for her family and for the extra money she
needs to cover Bacca’s school fees that Bacca’s sponsor back in the
states doesn’t cover.  The irony is that probably
Bacca’s sponsor would do everything in her power to help her with the
extra money if she knew that the school fees almost doubled with her
transfer from primary to secondary school.  But
with life as it is, Bacca’s family recently completely ran out of their
food…which meant that their one meal a day became none.  Bacca came to me and asked if I could help her.  I
had been feeding Bacca whenever she came over, but it was more than
Bacca could bear to watch her younger sisters going hungry at home.  My
emalangeni supply was almost depleted, and I knew I wouldn’t have
enough to provide her family with food on her own, so I grabbed Pastor
Gift first chance I got to ask him for help for Bacca’s family.  As
Gift told me that there was nothing he could do, and no way he could
get them food, tears began to silently roll down Bacca’s face as she
stared at the floor.  As soon as Gift left, I
gathered Bacca into my arms, and just rocked her back and forth, like
the small, vulnerable child that she was.  While Bacca continued to cry, her sobs became audible, and people stared as they passed by.  Neither of us cared.  It
was just Bacca and I standing in that room, holding each other as if we
could somehow protect each other from the harsh reality of utter
poverty and despair if we just held on.

I
talked to my team about Bacca’s situation, and managed to rally up
enough money to buy $225 emalangeni worth of food and hygiene items for
Bacca’s family.   I’m telling you this just so
you can rest a little bit easier regarding her situation, and know that
there’s always a little bit of the sweetness of hope in the sorrow of
abject poverty over here.  But that is not the point of this blog.

                The point is that Bacca did more for me than I ever could do for her through the lessons she taught me.  She taught me the generosity of a heart that gives even though possessing next to nothing.  I saw the widow who gave her last two coins to God in Bacca.  “…[Jesus] said, ‘This poor widow has put in more than all the others.  All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on” – Luke 21:3-4.

                In
the morning, Bacca comes to our house to pick up a sandwich from me to
eat for her breakfast so she doesn’t have to go through her whole
school day until dinner without food.  That night, Bacca came over and gave me a kit-kat bar she had bought for me.  Now let me clarify something: Bacca never eats lunch at school unless a friend randomly shares with her.  That
meant that not only did Bacca have to get the money to buy that kit-kat
from a friend, but instead of eating the treat herself for a meager
lunch, she gave it to me.  It was difficult for
me to take it from her, but knowing what an offering of love it was, I
split it in half and shared it with Bacca.

                A
couple of days later I went with Bacca to one of her soccer games, and
not having any extra money for lunch even for myself, I reluctantly
told one of her friends who asked me for lunch that I had no money for
it.  What I didn’t realize is that since Bacca
was one of the soccer players that day she got a free lunch of rice and
stew (typical Swazi meal).  And Bacca being the
generous Swazi that she is, she shared her bowl of food with both her
other friend and I, though it left her with a third of a normal meal.  Initially, I refused her offer, saying that I could eat when I got home.  But
with the look of confusion from her friend and Bacca’s insistence, I
remembered that the most grateful response I could have was to accept
her generosity and share her food, though it would mean less food for
her.  The funny thing is I don’t think she hardly realized she was making a sacrifice.  It was just obvious to her: she had food and we didn’t, so she shared it with us.

If only that choice was so obvious to everyone.  Bacca
told me that oftentimes she’ll have to just sit and watch her friends
eat during lunchtime while she tries to keep her stomach from grumbling.  Every
once in a while, a friend of hers will have the kindness to share with
her, but more often than not, she’ll just go without.

But beyond that, if only this was so obvious to me.  I struggle with how much I should give to people living here.  Although
there’s clearly discernment in giving when there’s legitimate need,
rather than having your emotions manipulated so you’ll give, Jesus
teaches us to give freely to those in need.  And even more than that, He teaches us to give freely even to our enemies!  “…If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.  If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners do that.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you?  Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full.  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.  Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” – Luke 6:29b-36.

This passage of scripture challenges me more than I even want to be challenged.  Do all this even for my enemies, God?  Even those who clearly just want to take advantage of my generosity?  And no worries – I’m still definitely grappling with all of this and have come to no simple formula of giving.  But what I do know is that Jesus offers us no loophole out of giving to others.  And Bacca and other Swazis have taught me through their lives what it means to be truly generous.  I have seen the reality of giving sacrificially here in Swaziland in a more poignant way than I ever have before.  But more than teaching me to be generous materially, they have taught me to be generous in heart, sharing their lives with me.  “We
loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the
gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to
us” – 1 Thessalonians 2:8.  Beyond giving physical food, I need to give spiritual food.  “I am the living bread that came down from heaven.  If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever…” – John 6:51a.  And
the way they give their love freely and liberally has shown me how
giving things is nothing without the heart of love behind it.  “If
I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,
but have not love, I gain nothing” – 1 Corinthians 13:3.