Sanele:
No.
Cantas:
No.
Vusani:
No.
Why?
Sanele:
I’m not old enough…after finishing school (university) and getting a good job; then I will be able to have children and take care of a family (18 years old).
Cantas:
I am focusing and concentrating on school…school is my girlfriend. Also, I am still young (17 years old).
Vusani:
I don’t want to have a girlfriend at t this time; I am still young and want to focus on my future. Then, after my future is bright, then maybe I will have a girlfriend (I think he’s about 20 or 21 years old).
What will you benefit from having a girlfriend?
Sanele:
I’ll make a business with her and solve problems with her. Also, because we can prepare for farming together to raise food and get crops…it’s difficult b/c of the drought.
Cantas:
To build a home with her, to have a job so we can feed the family, and to take care of my parents like what they did for me.
Vusani:
Having children after marrying, to stay with her and she will help me in doing everything like cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, growing crops, farming…she’s going to get me there b/c sometimes I might be working far from home and she will be staying and taking care of our children and of our home.
What is it that you do not like about girls?
Sanele:
They distract you from your studies and take up your time…they affect your performance in school so that you do not do well because you are focusing on them instead of on school.
Cantas:
I’m too focused on school right now, since I’m still young. I don’t even think about girls now.
Vusani:
From what I know, they’re not faithful. If I can be loved by someone right now I can be stressed because I can feel like the person I am loved by will love someone else and things will not go how I planned.
What is it that you like about them?
Sanele:
I can play together with the girls, and share faith with them. Also, practice obedience…learning from each other how to be better people. Also, you can ask girls what thoughts they have about others; also, boys can tell the girls the thoughts that they have about others. Also, encourage them to go to church so that they can live a better life, because there is nothing you can do without knowing God. When you are together with girls, you can talk about God whenever you meet.
Cantas:
I like them just because I’m able to discuss everything with girls pertaining to life…I’m able to discuss with them and plan about life. Most of the time when you’re in one family with girls, you can leave girls at home to take care of the home and prepare food; also, the girls can teach me how to prepare the food. I like girls because if you live at a home with boys and girls and you ask for something, the boys will delay or say no, but the girls will do it for you immediately.
Vusani:
When I get married to that one I love, I can answer this question…then I can see her advantages.
When did you started dating?
Sanele:
Never.
Cantas:
Never.
Vusani:
I never, never, ever have.
What is the normal age of dating?
Sanele:
When my parents say to me, “My son, you are old enough to get married.” This will be when I am wealthy and ready to take care of a family. I have to get a job first, so that I will be able to buy cows. When my parents see that I have enough cows, they will tell me I am ready to get married.
Cantas:
Three years after I finish school. I will search for a good job, and then after having the job, maybe I will wait three years after school to start dating.
Vusani:
Above 30.
What makes you not to concentrate on girls?
Sanele:
At this time, I have no need of a girlfriend. I’m still young; I’m not at the age of thinking about girls. So, what I have in my life is that now I am concentrating on my future.
Cantas:
I’m still young and I’m still schooling, maybe they can disturb me while I’m focusing on doing school.
Vusani:
Maybe they can disturb me because I am still planning my future. She’s going to need some time from me. When I begin to concentrate on her, I am not concentrating on my future and it can be doomed. So I need to concentrate on my future first, and then when I have my future planned, then I can give her the time she needs.
What is helping you to be what you are today?
Sanele:
I separate things like avoiding having a girlfriend, avoiding bad friends, going to church to learn about what I can do to live a better life. Also, in church and Sunday school the teachers and pastors can teach about what we can do to succeed and what we can do to become exactly what we want and what can we do to protect your life from temptations by avoiding them. Those who are not using the way of evil, they will be blessed.”
Cantas:
I am obedient to my parents and taking orders. Also, by being at school, I avoid being with the bad boys.
Vusani:
I’ll be praying for you guys and for Jon and B-ry as they speak. I love the effort that you’re putting into this Jess. I know the women appreciate it.
Fascinating…are these Christian guys? They seem to have an unusual worldview for single, Swazi’s (well except for the women doing the housework). Interesting though!
Jimmy, they are definitely Christians, like virtually all Swazis…though aside from maybe Sanele, I wouldn’t say that they’re unusually committed compared to the typical Swazi Christian. Though, I would agree that I feel surprised by their answers and doubtful that they accurately represent most Swazi men. I even questioned whether their answers accurately reflected they themselves. Who knows? I’m sure any guy would try to make himself sound as good as possible when being asked specific questions like these…