"They need jobs, they need water, they need food, they need clothes..." My voice trailed off as my mom quipped, "They just need Jesus." Even through a phone connection to the other side of the world I could hear a softness and compassion in my mom's voice that knew the reality of the Swazis' physical needs. "But it's frustrating because they know Jesus! But how can I tell them that God will provide for their needs when they're going hungry, they can't afford to send their children to school, and they're dying from preventable and curable sicknesses because they can't afford the medical expenses? Who am I to tell them that God will provide when some of these Swazis are working from sunrise to sunset in the fields, every day of the week, but are so underpaid that they still can't provide food for their family while trying to give their family a future by sending the eldest child to school? God has provided for all of my needs, to be sure; but won't they feel like I'm speaking without understanding to their situation if I say that God provides, based on my own experience? I just feel like I'm feeding a hope that won't get satisfied when I tell them that God will provide for their needs, because when will those words ever come to fruition? And yet I would on to the hope that it's true, because God is by nature a provider, and His Word says that He will provide.

My mom didn't respond much. She didn't need to. Her four words, "They just need Jesus," resonated in my spirit with conviction. I was convicted because I realized what a materialist I am. There are (at least) two different kinds of materialists. First, there are materialists who are your run-of-the-mill greedy people, stereotypically from 1st world, developed countries, who find much of their value in their possessions. They have the next-door neighbor syndrome, always trying to keep up with their friends, their social class, and their culture's expectations. When distracted, their minds wander to what they will wear the next day, to wishful purchases, and to anything else based on money and possessions. While this is somewhat of an extreme description, I want you to know that I very much could identify with this kind of materialism while living in the States. It seems to be nearly unavoidable in our affluent culture.

But what I didn't notice was the second kind of materialism sneaking up on me while living here in Swaziland. I found myself the furthest I had ever been from this first kind of materialism, only to discover the second version fully developed in me. This kind of materialism consists of trying to fix people's external problems. I came to this point where I'm willing to give absolutely anything to help those in need around me. I gave away almost all of money and clothes, I even started skipping lunch so I could give away more team food, and I gave all my time. But the more I gave, the more need I saw, and the more broken I became. This was because no matter how much I gave of myself, I just couldn't provide for everyone's needs, especially as I began to run out of my own resources. The past few days I've been evaluating my outlook on people's lives here, and I've come to realize how difficult it is for me to look completely beyond the external to see only the internal, and beyond the physical to see only the eternal.

But when I do look at the eternal alone, I see how God is providing. As Romans 1:19-20 says, "...what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." He makes Himself available to the Swazis, and they have discovered Him to be real. It is their own prerogative whether or not to seek Him and know Him; He promises to be found by them. It is their choice to come to Him for spiritual nourishment. He is the Bread of Life, the Living Water, and He will feed their souls if they will simply come to Him.

I'm no longer going to hesitate to tell people here that God will provide for them, because I've seen with my own eyes how He provides fully spiritually and even physically as He sees fit. I think I used to believe that God wills for people's physical needs to be met every single time. This is not true. Jesus' life as told in the Gospels makes this more than obvious. Yes, He loves to provide for people's physical needs, but that far from being His mission as He walked this earth. Luke 5 tells the story of Jesus healing a man with leprosy. Jesus told Him not to tell anyone, and "yet the news about Him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:15-16). This shows me that physical healing and provision is by no means Jesus' first priority. Rather, He healed people to bring glory to God, reveal His deity, and demonstrate His love. But their external and physical needs did not motivate His mission as Savior to the world. And neither should it be Swazis' external and physical needs that motivate my mission to reveal the Savior of the world to them. Because no matter how much I give to these temporal needs, it will do nothing to satisfy their souls.

So I must stop letting this third-world materialism I've developed distract me from the greater mission God has instilled in me in coming to Swaziland. Though I feed the mouths of the hungry, I must maintain the focus of feeding their souls. Life's only significance is that which transcends the temporal to the eternal. All else will fade away. "And this is eternal life, that they know You the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent" – Jesus' prayer to God His Father, John 17:3. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..." Philippians 3:7-9a.